דְּאָגָ֣ה בְלֶב־אִ֣ישׁ יַשְׁחֶ֑נָּה וְדָבָ֖ר ט֣וֹב יְשַׂמְּחֶֽנָּה
If there is anxiety in a person’s heart let them quash it and turn it into joy with a good word (Proverbs 12:25).
The Gemara, which includes much of the written analysis and commentary in the Talmud, further explains this verse from Proverbs: “Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi dispute the verse’s meaning. Rabbi Ami said: He should forcefully push the anxiety out of his mind. One who worries should banish his concerns from his thoughts. And Rabbi Asi said: It means he should tell others his concerns, which will lower his anxiety.”
I love our Talmud because it holds space for differing opinions. And yet, I find Rabbi Asi’s suggestion that sharing worries with a friend (rather than shoving them down deep) is always more helpful for me. A quick phone call or an uplifting text from a friend on a particularly tough day can quickly help us, as Proverbs suggests, turn our stress into joy and goodness. Better to name our worries and fears as they arise rather than shoving them down as Rabbi Ami suggests; they always seem to come back up no matter how hard we try to ignore them! In addition, when we create space for our children, spouses, and loved ones to name their anxieties to us, we create a space of love and healing, bringing broken pieces of God’s world back together again.
Each of us has been carrying extra worries, challenges, and stressors this year. This week, as we lead into Thanksgiving and a week of generosity and gratitude, may we remember to tend lovingly to ourselves and to practice extra patience with our loved ones who also worry. Today, take some moments to release tension from your shoulders, to let your screen-weary eyes take a break, to check in with a friend or loved one, to do whatever it is that you need to do, as Proverbs encourages us, to quash the anxiety from your heart.
— Cantor Emma Lutz