As the secular New Year approaches, the vast majority of our New Years’ resolutions will likely attempt to distance us as far from the trials and losses of 2020 as possible, and with good reason. Countless families, including many in our own community, have suffered (or continue to suffer) from loneliness, despair, job loss, disease, and death—all while navigating the completely new and disorienting social and civic context foisted upon us by the COVID-19 pandemic.
However, for those who are able, thoughtful consideration of our 2020 experience may offer some surprising resolutions for 2021, as we may discover that there are a few changes we want to keep from our quarantine experience. As my wife, Lisa, and I spoke about life after quarantine the other day, we thought of three new habits we want to maintain:
1. You’re only a button press away. Both our families live on the East Coast, and travel during the pandemic was not prudent for many reasons, forcing us to find novel ways to connect with them consistently, especially following the birth of our second child, Shiloh. Though we hope that family vacations return to our lives in 2021, we also hope to keep up the remote rituals we’ve developed, from Shabbat candle lighting calls, to Zoom dinners, book reading nights, and more.
2. Simplify. This may, at first glance, sound antithetical to most parenting experiences during the pandemic. However, the frenzied COVID working parent experience—which differs dramatically among those with newborns, toddlers, elementary age children, high schoolers, and college students—taught us to simplify and streamline whatever we could, from meals to entertainment. Limiting the number of ancillary tasks, such as driving, involved in working and parenting helped make life much more enjoyable.
3. Lead with Kindheartedness. Though social distancing guidelines prevented much conversation with passersby on our walks, we saw a kind of kinship develop among walkers who opted to don their masks whenever they passed by others. Expressed with warm greetings or knowing nods, this kinship appeared to be born of mutual gratitude for the unspoken concern demonstrated for one another. In 2021, we hope to discover new ways to lead with kindness and create connections, even with passersby.
As you prepare for 2021, you may begin to think of some things you’d like to keep from 2020 as well, and we’d love to know! We hope you’ll share your thoughts here so that we can all learn and grow together in this New Year.
— Rabbi Josh
Rabbi Josh Knobel can be reached via email at [email protected].