Today, February 14, is Valentine’s Day. As a Jewish educator, I struggle with how to align our Jewish holidays with secular celebrations such as Halloween and Valentine’s Day. It is impossible to ignore, as every store is filled with hearts, candies and cards. Students often ask if they can pass out valentines in class or if they can dress in costume for Halloween. While there are Jewish holidays we do celebrate in this way—Purim (a favorite) and a lesser-known Talmudic holiday of Tu B’Av (celebrated in July/August), there is still a conflict as to whether we can and/or should celebrate Valentine’s Day.

While researching this question, I read an interesting explanation from Rabbi Mike Uram in his article, “Valentine’s Day and Judaism,” where he interpreted the ruling from Rabbi Moshe Isserlis (Poland, 1520-1572). Rabbi Isserlis determined that a Jew can celebrate a holiday that was originated by a non-Jew as long as it meets the following criteria:

  • Does the debated activity have a secular origin or value?
  • Can one rationally explain the behavior or ritual apart from the gentile holiday or event?
  • If there are idolatrous origins, have they disappeared?
  • Are the activities actually consistent with Jewish traditions?

I would argue that our modern day celebration of Valentine’s Day does in fact meet these criteria. While we don’t have Valentine’s Day celebrations at Wise School or Aaron Milken Center, we do teach about love. Anyone who hears our Klei Kodesh presentations at Shabbat services will learn from our kindergarten and Grade 1 students what they love as they introduce the Sh’ma and V’Ahavta—where we talk about how we love God with all our soul and with all our might.

Tonight, at your Shabbat dinner tables, I encourage you to explicitly share what you love about one another. I think it is wonderful to give your children a valentine and let them know how special they are to you. Ask your children what they love about their siblings, cousins, grandparents. Let everyone take a moment to tell something they might love about themselves.

Many of you know that I am a huge Broadway musical fan, and often listen to soundtracks on my drive to Wise. Today, I will play Les Miserables and sing along with the lyric: To love another person is to see the face of God. I truly believe this, and will give my husband Robert a special kiss tonight. I hope you all enjoy your Shabbat and Valentine’s Day.

— Tami Weiser, Head of School