I remember a conversation I had with my Uncle Alan a few years before he died. We were discussing a challenging moment that someone close to us had recently gone through and he said, “Well, in a lifetime of disappointments, this will just be another one.”
It made me laugh, the kind of laugh that has a little sadness mixed in.
Life is filled with disappointments, big and little. This week’s Torah portion describes one that Moses experiences early in his tenure as leader of Am Yisrael. He goes before Pharaoh, just as God has instructed him, and asks Pharaoh to let his people go. But he discovers that leadership is harder and more unpredictable than he had expected. Instead of granting his wish, Pharaoh makes things even harder for the Israelites, demanding that they make as many bricks as before but without straw, an impossible task. Moses asks God: “Why did You bring harm upon this people? Why did you send me? Ever since I came to Pharaoh to speak in Your name, he has dealt worse with this people; and still You have not delivered Your people.” (Exodus 5:22-23)
God assures Moses that God will do all that has been promised. God will redeem the people from their suffering and “bring you into the land which I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob…” But then we read that “when Moses told this to the Israelites, they would not listen to Moses, their spirits crushed by cruel bondage.” (Exodus 6:9)
A lifetime of setbacks and disappointments had crushed their spirits.
The great medieval commentator, Rashi, explains that the Israelites were so distressed that they could hardly breathe. They had simply had it.
Many of us can relate to this feeling right now. This Shabbat will mark the 98th day of captivity for the hostages in Gaza. In addition to the 1,200 murdered on October 7, more than 500 IDF soldiers have been killed and thousands more have been injured. Tens of thousands of Israelis continue to experience internal displacement, unable to return to their homes in both the South and the North. Some university students here in America are now dreading their return to classes, worried about what it will mean to come back to campuses that no longer feel safe.
There are moments when our spirits feel crushed. It’s not just another disappointment; it’s the straw that finally breaks our backs.
So, what do Moses and God do in response? The next verse tells us: “God spoke to Moses, saying, ‘Go and tell Pharaoh king of Egypt to let the Israelites depart from his land.’” (Exodus 6:10-11) The people are broken from a lifetime of disappointments. But instead of giving up, Moses goes back to Pharaoh to ask him once more to let our people go.
In these few verses is a powerful and profound message. Life is indeed filled with disappointments. It’s messy and there’s no getting through it without a lot of pain. But giving up is not a viable option. There are moments when our spirits might feel crushed, but we soldier on, we pick ourselves up, we try again.
Since October 7, there has been disappointment after disappointment. This week, nine IDF soldiers were killed in one horrific day. The release of the remaining hostages seems as far away as ever. We feel powerless, vulnerable, and broken.
But we cannot and will not give up. We pick ourselves up, we dust ourselves off, and we prepare to confront the Pharaohs of the world demanding: “Let our people go.”
May we have the courage, the strength, and the fortitude to do just that.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Yoshi