Tonight we light the 6th candle of Hanukkah
I love giving gifts. I actually prefer giving them for no occasion; I love seeing something that makes me think of a loved one, and sharing that thought with them in a tangible form. And, some of the favorite gifts that I have loved the most were given in a similar spirit.
In 1992, Gary Chapman, a Baptist minister, published what is now a bestselling book: The Five Love Languages. While I have read plenty on why the book is problematic, the premise is very simple. He posits—and then describes—how different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. For Chapman, one of the love languages is receiving gifts; I would suggest that gift-giving is also a love language. All that to say: I am not a gift grinch!
And as a parent, I am seeking ways of toning down the consumerism, of teaching about wants versus needs, and also of enforcing our deeply held values of compassion and tikkun olam. And so, for the past several years, we have set aside at least one night of Hanukkah for giving back. Often, we make Blessings Bags—small Ziplocks with water, protein bars, and clean socks that we keep in the car. That way, when we are stopped at the freeway exit and someone is asking for money or food, we have something to give. It’s small, but tangible—and makes a difference for that person on that day. This is not a brag; trust me, our house is also overflowing with gifts! Just a small suggestion.
Perhaps there is a cause particularly meaningful to your family, or perhaps an organization near and dear to your heart. The Union for Reform Judaism suggests that perhaps we designate the 6th candle as the Ner Shel Tzedakah, the candle of righteousness, or—in our society—charity. This is a project, they write:
“in which families and individuals devote the sixth night of Hanukkah to learning about the problem of poverty. They donate the value of the gifts (or the gifts themselves) that otherwise would be exchanged on that night to organizations that assist the poor, locally or globally. By making donations on the sixth night of Hanukkah, families help the Jewish candle of righteousness glow brightly for those in need.”
I invite you to dedicate tonight—or any of the remaining nights—to something about which you are passionate, an organization or a cause to which you are inspired to give. And, if it is too late for this Hanukkah—it makes for a beautiful family conversation when the lights are lit and the gifts are given.
May the light of justice shine brightly from us and for us.
(If you missed last night’s candle-lighting with Rabbi Josh Knobel, click here to watch!)
–Rabbi Sari Laufer