As we at Wise commit ourselves to creating a community that embraces all those who seek to call Wise home, it’s incumbent upon all of us to truly open our hearts to those who walk different paths. The stories that will appear this week are from cherished Wise families (some of them, community leaders) who might have felt marginalized in the past but have found a home at Wise. In our own tribute to Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy, we celebrate our diversity and recognize that all of us are uplifted by the rich mosaic of perspectives brought to us by our multifaceted community.
The Story of Ray Zimmer and Sal Echeverria
by Ray Zimmer
My husband and I met at the beginning of medical school in 2003. It took a fairly short period of time to realize that, despite some differences, we shared many similarities that fostered a deep connection between us. We were both children of immigrants, we were diligent students with strong work ethics, we came from close-knit families that were loving and supportive, and we were both certain that—someday—we wanted to have our own family with children. We were fortunate enough to live in a time when having a family with same-sex parents could very much be a reality and where this family structure was increasingly common. We dreamed of one day welcoming our own children into the world.
When we decided that the time had come to create our family, we had many discussions before our children were born about how we wanted to raise them. Although we shared many common bonds in our backgrounds, we were nevertheless a same-sex, mixed couple (religiously, ethnically, and racially). As such, each of us would therefore have unique experiences that would ultimately have bearing on the foundations of our family and its evolution. We decided that our family would be Jewish and our children would be raised Jewish, which in hindsight was a relatively easy decision. Harder questions would emerge from that decision: What does it mean for us to be Jewish? What does that look like for our family? What values do we want to nurture in our family that are grounded in Jewish culture and faith?
While finding the answers to these questions is an ongoing journey, we know that it is crucial to us that our children grow up understanding that being Jewish is important, that being Jewish means something, and that even though they could one day experience adversity based on their background, they will always have a place to belong. These desires led us to search for a Jewish congregation that would help instill this identity in our children and that our family could call home. We are incredibly grateful to have truly found that home at Wise. From the moment we joined, we have been welcomed, embraced, included, and accepted. The smiles and joy that we see in our children at Wise are testament to the warmth and belonging they feel as part of the Wise community, and we very much look forward to continuing our growth as a Jewish family at Wise for many years to come.