The Jewish Wedding
Summer is a busy season for weddings. Rabbi Woznica shares thoughts on the challenge of celebrating during difficult days.
Should We Rejoice at a Time Like This?
Summer is the season of weddings, and clergy are particularly busy. Officiating a wedding allows us to meet couples at one of the best times in their lives. It is among the most elevating, satisfying, and happiest aspects of my work.
Except… these are very difficult times for our people. How can one rejoice in a wedding knowing that Israel is at war and our hostages enslaved? Indeed, should we rejoice under these circumstances?
We had a family wedding planned on October 14, 2023. Given the events of October 7th, we contemplated cancelling the plans and changing the date.
A colleague, Rabbi Lisa Malik, influenced us. She noted that Jewish weddings typically conclude with the groom smashing a glass. While many explanations are offered, the origin is likely in the Talmud. Mar, the son of Rabina, was making a wedding for his son. He saw the guests were celebrating excessively, broke an expensive glass, tempering their joy. (Babylonian Talmud Berakhot 30b)
The Psalms note, “Serve God with awe and rejoice with trembling.” (Psalms 2:11)
Yes, Rabbi Malik wrote to me, where there is rejoicing there should be trembling. And at the same time, she suggested that the opposite is true as well: Where there is trembling, there should be rejoicing.
Many Jews have been trembling since October 7. There is a sadness that hovers – almost a constant state of trembling.
It is a public statement of faith in God and our people that, at a Jewish wedding, under the chuppah, a couple declares their commitment to one another and a Jewish future. Perhaps, at this moment, that is precisely what we need.
— Rabbi David Woznica