This week’s Torah portion, Vayishlach, tells the story of Jacob sending messengers to his brother Esau upon his return to the promised land of Canaan. Twenty-two long years have passed since he stole his brother’s birthright—Jacob is afraid of what Esau might do to him in retaliation.
Jacob returns to Canaan with his wives, children, livestock, and servants. His brother Esau is equally powerful—there are 400 men in his encampment to greet Jacob. Though these two brothers represent very different spiritual traditions, each will be the progenitors of nations living side by side in the Holy Land.
What is striking to me is the nature of their sibling rivalry, the behaviors and emotions that it elicits. The world has changed over the course of thousands of years but people, at heart, remain the same. Families are torn apart by squabbles over inheritances. Favoritism among parents and long-held grudges between siblings have adverse effects on adult relationships. All too many times we see these family issues played out for generations, even handed down to children and grandchildren.
The Torah tells us the two brothers meet, the olive branch is extended, and they reconcile. We are told they embrace. Oh, how easy it seems that they simply embrace and all is forgiven. After this encounter we do not hear about Esau again—once they reconcile, it seems he is no longer important to the storyline although his descendants, the Edomites, will play a significant role in the history of Israel.
Let us learn from this example—that it is far better to find love in your sibling’s heart than to stir up hatred or rivalries. May we learn to move past old family gripes and our own hurt feelings so as to make our lives with brothers, sisters, cousins, and all others into divine and holy alliances.
How good and pleasant it is to dwell, eat, and share our lives together with family.
—Cantor Nathan Lam