The Hebrew month of Elul has just begun, traditionally devoted to preparing ourselves for the High Holy Days. With that in mind, this week, Rabbi Woznica offers suggestions about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is Not the Goal: Atonement is the Goal—Here’s the Important Difference
There is a misconception that Yom Kippur is about seeking God’s forgiveness. It is not, however, the day of forgiveness; it is the Day of Atonement. As one rabbi quipped, “If I spill my grape juice on your carpet, I can say sorry and be forgiven, but the stain remains. Atonement only comes when I get the carpet cleaners to come clean your carpet.”
To continue this analogy, the goal of atonement is to remove the stain fully, and bring the carpet back to its original state. So it is, as well, with our relationships. Yes, if an apology is helpful to the relationship, we should apologize. Our goal, however, is to do what we can to return a fractured relationship to its (hopefully good) original state.
Attending services is a good start, but, honestly, more is needed. If we want to atone to God, we begin with sincere apology. Still, atoning is an ongoing process where we continuously demonstrate that we have genuinely changed. Yom Kippur can be the catalyst for such changes. Changing our actions in the coming year shows true atonement.
I wish you all a Shana Tova, a Good Year filled with blessings.
Rabbi David Woznica