I have officiated at nearly a dozen gay and lesbian weddings over the course of my career and attended several more. Each has been remarkable in their own way. I remember the first wedding that happened rather quickly during the brief window where same-sex marriages were first legalized in California in 2008. The mother of one of our Wise school children and her partner were so eager to get married that they scheduled their wedding the week after marriages were permitted. Unfortunately, that time period was short-lived and it wasn’t until 2013 that same-sex marriages were legal throughout the nation. My wife and I had only attended our first same-sex marriage when two of our closest friends celebrated their own marriage at Camp Hess-Kramer, though the laws of the state and the nation did not support them. They’ve been married for 30 years.
What’s most heartening about the gay and lesbian marriages I’ve been blessed to sanction is the enthusiasm and support of the guests. To think that most of the attendees grew up during a time when such marriages were a legal and Jewish impossibility, that their opinions and feelings have changed so dramatically is truly a blessing. From my vantage point under the chuppah, I can look out at the community and witness the tears of joy as the brides or grooms walk down the aisle. I see the parents glow with joy as their cherished children choose a life with their b’shert (their soul’s delight).
This transformation of our community into one of acceptance and embrace has been astoundingly rapid and yet, there’s still work to be done. All-too-many obstacles still exist and failures of acceptance can lead to depression and self-harm on the part of LGBTQ+ people. That’s where Keshet and JQ International come in.
Keshet is a nationwide organization working “for full equality of all LGBTQ+ Jews and our families in Jewish life.” JQ International celebrates and strengthens queer Jewish life through community building, educational programs, and support services. Both organizations seek to advocate on behalf of the LGBTQ+ Jewish community, their families, and their allies. They work with the gay and straight communities to increase inclusivity by ensuring that our messages are words of acceptance and invitations to belonging.
At Wise, we are proud of our community’s work with Keshet and JQ as we continue to create a community that is safe and loving for all.
—Rabbi Ron Stern
We hope you celebrate with us this Friday at our Pride Shabbat. On Sunday, we invite you to join our clergy and other members of our community as we march in the L.A. Pride Parade. Wise will be walking as part of Unity in Community, a group of walkers that includes a wide cross-section of the L.A. Jewish community. Wise is a proud co-sponsor of Unity in Community, joining Temple Israel of Hollywood, Temple Akiba, IKAR, Jewish Center for Justice, Leo Baeck Temple, Nefesh, Temple Emanuel, Kehilat Israel, Kol Ami, Temple Isaiah, Temple Beth Hillel, Beth Chayim Chadashim, and Hillside Memorial and Mortuary.