There is an old unwritten rule in Jewish tradition that if you make three successful shidduchim, three matches of people with their spouse, that you will be able to enter the highest level of the world to come. God, of course, was the first matchmaker in our Torah, introducing Adam and Eve, and if we are truly b’tzelem Elohim, created in the image of God, then we all have the potential to be matchmakers ourselves. Whether you believe in a literal world to come or the fundamentals of the creation story or not, it certainly is a nice feeling to help people hit it off, and at the very best, to aid two souls in meeting their match.
Although Adam and I met on the first day of our rabbinical and cantorial program in Jerusalem in 2011, we actually have a dear friend and classmate who sent us pictures of each other beforehand, making our informal shidduch, or match. While I am sure we would have fallen in love on our own, it certainly didn’t hurt having a friendly nudge in the right direction from someone who knew us both well.
I recently watched the Netflix show “Jewish Matchmaking,” or Shadchanut Modernit (which actually translates to “modern matchmaking”). I know that streaming platforms are flooded with romanticized versions of true love and staged opportunities for dating, but I found this show—featuring matchmaker Aleeza Ben Shalom—to be so sweet, sharing openly and honestly about the joys and challenges of dating and the wide variety of ways to identify Jewishly in our world today.
What I loved most about the show was that it showcased so many different ways to look and be Jewish. Ben Shalom is an Orthodox Jew, but she works with anyone who identifies as Jewish, seeking to connect them with their best fit, both practically and spiritually. The show features Jews from cultural to Reform to Flexidox (semi-observant) to very frum (Orthodox), as well as differently-abled Jews and Jews of color. I was inspired by Ben Shalom’s non-judgmental approach and loving commitment to helping Jews find their life partners.
If you know of someone who might be a good match for someone else, it certainly can’t hurt to suggest it! We are all created in the image of God and made whole within ourselves, but finding (or helping others find) a partner to share this life with, to build a family and a home with, is one meaningful opportunity for us to bring the broken fragments of our world back together.
—Cantor Emma Lutz
To listen to Bock and Harnick’s classic “Matchmaker, Matchmaker,” click HERE.