This week, Jews around the world read from parashat vayechi, the final Torah portion in the Book of Genesis, which contains a poem of blessings offered by Jacob, on his deathbed, to his twelve children. Unfortunately, Jacob doesn’t have twelve children. He has thirteen.
Missing from Jacob’s blessings is his daughter, Dinah, whose final appearance in the Torah takes place way back in Chapter 34 when Shechem “takes her, lies with her, and afflicts her.” (Genesis 34:2) Shechem then asks for her hand in marriage. Afterwards, Dinah’s brothers, Simeon and Levi, murder Shechem and his entire village before taking Dinah back home with them. From then on, Dinah’s name never reappears in the Torah.
In this week’s parashah, Jacob, from his deathbed, condemns Simeon and Levi for murdering Shechem, but he offers no blessing for Dinah. He leaves her out, because acknowledging his daughter, by necessity, would also acknowledge his complicity in the sordid tale of Shechem. He can blame Simeon and Levi; they make a choice. Dinah never does. She remains, from the beginning of the tale to the end, at the mercy of her father, who marries her off to Shechem and then does nothing to prevent or punish his sons for massacring her new family.
And so, to preserve his dignity in his final moments of life, Jacob edits his own daughter from the story. Her story ceases to matter, so that Jacob can tell his story the way he wants it.
Too often, like Jacob, we privilege our stories over those of others—sometimes consciously, sometimes unwittingly—silencing or delegitimizing their stories in the process. Rather, we must find a way to make room for all the Dinahs, everywhere, to tell their honest stories, even if it means that we may have to update our own.
–Rabbi Josh Knobel