Occasionally, I lose myself when I’m behind the wheel. Overcome with an intense desire to get where I want to go as quickly and safely as possible, I sometimes abandon any sense of compassion or benefit of the doubt which I would typically extend to others. I become judgmental of and reactive to every choice made by my fellow drivers, and sometimes even those of pedestrians. Every inconvenient choice or mistake made on the road feels like a personal, moral insult for which there may be no forgiveness.
Then I remember who I am; I draw my hand further from the horn, move my foot closer to the brake pedal, a little embarrassed by my lack of perspective.
In this week’s Torah portion, B’ha’alot’cha, our ancestors also lose themselves to desire: “The rabble within their midst craved a deep craving. Then, the Israelites wept and said, ‘If only we had meat to eat!” (Numbers 11:4)
The Israelites then proceed to condemn Moses for delivering them from Egypt, suggesting that, at least as slaves, they had fish and vegetables. They lose themselves in this craven lust for meat, abandoning both their sense of perspective and the respect they owe to God and to Moses. Ultimately, their behavior leads to a plague that ravages the community.
It can become all too easy – in our most intense desire – to abandon our perspective and our decency; to criticize those who help us most and to deny our fellow human beings the respect they deserve. If we wish to avoid calamities similar to those that befell our ancestors when they were overcome by their craving, then we must identify the desires that so often cause us to lose ourselves and find ways to mitigate their effects.
– Rabbi Josh Knobel