Advice for Life: Family Bliss

Earlier this week, I wrote about  “Advice for Life”, a course based on the teachings of the Chabad-Lubavitcher, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, also known as the Rebbe (for the story of how I landed in this class, read here).

The centrality of the family goes back to the early chapters of the Torah. And yet, interestingly, Rabbi Schneerson wrote that “the focus on the family unit is lacking—somewhat or significantly—even among those who genuinely try to follow a Torah lifestyle. They set aside time for Torah study, fulfill the mitzvot meticulously… Yes, the father, mother and children are walking a single path… nevertheless, they do not walk this path as a family…”

Among the recommendations Rabbi Schneerson offers to enhance family relationships is that Jewish families celebrate the Shabbat meal together on Friday nights. More specifically, he wrote, “Parents and children should gather in the same room, around the same table, engaging in conversation fitting for Shabbat.”

The role of Torah and mitzvot were indispensable to the Rebbe as cornerstones of family. He worked to empower every Jewish household to have one mitzvah as their bedrock. For example, a family might be known for haknasat orchim—welcoming strangers into their home.

At the same time, he valued individuality, noting that satisfaction is achieved when each of us engages in things in which we excel and set us apart from our companions and surroundings.

There was something I learned about the Rebbe that touched me. I learned that while he maintained an extraordinary and demanding schedule, he spent 30 minutes having tea (which he prepared) with his wife, Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, every day (apparently twice on Fridays).

Many see family as primary in life. And yet, how much time, thought, and focus do we spend trying to create and solidify a stable and loving family unit? It is not easy. And there are many forces that can impact our family—often forces well beyond our control.

And yet, I have no doubt, that in the break-neck speed at which many live, carving out Friday night dinner with family, and 30 minutes a day with one’s spouse, would be a strong step in the right direction.

—Rabbi David Woznica
[email protected]

To register for Rabbi Woznica’s online class, “Favorite Moments in the Torah”, which meets on Mondays at 10:15 a.m., please click here.