Stephen Wise Temple member Alex Raminfar delivered his Wise Story on Monday, Sept. 25, 2023, during our Yom Kippur family services in Katz Family Pavilion.
Good afternoon, Wise community. My name is Alex Raminfar, and on behalf of my wife Paige, son Ayden, and the entire Raminfar family, we would like to wish you all a G’mar Chatimah Tovah and Shanah Tovah.
A couple of months ago, Rabbi Stern asked if I would be willing to share my Wise story during the high holidays. I was beyond honored to be asked and humbled to be standing on the bima today.
As I prepared my speech, one quote immediately came to mind that I felt encompasses my over four-decade-long story at Wise. “If I am not for myself, who will be for me, if I am only for myself what am I?” Rabbi Hillel’s timeless words were first taught to me as a song as kindergartener sitting on the grounds of what will soon be the Aaron Milken Early Childhood Center. The poignance of that quote not only shaped the person who I have become, but epitomizes everything Wise stands for.
In line with Yom Kippur, this quote not only serves a moral and ethical guideline reminding us to balance self-care and care for others, but evokes decades of memories, friendships, and, frankly, elicits a movie montage style flashback of my entire life. You see, my Wise story starts well before I was born and started because of my family’s need for self-preservation, and another man’s vision that has become the community we are a part of today.
Like many members of our congregation, my parents and two brothers were forced to flee Iran in 1979, the only home they had ever known, and escape the dangers of the Islamic revolution. Once in the United States, my parents made their new home just up the hill where they were immediately greeted by a friendly neighbor who jovially walked past their house every morning … that man was Rabbi Zeldin. Despite my parents’ poor English and of course Rabbi Zeldin’s inability to speak Farsi, Rabbi Zeldin still managed to invite my parents to Rosh Hashanah services in 1980 where they proudly took their seat in the third-row pew to the left of the bima, which is where they have sat for the past 43 years.
Two years later I was born. My parents immediately enrolled me into baby and me classes and I remained a student at Stephen Wise through elementary school, junior high, and became a proud graduate of Milken Community High School in the year 2000. During my time at Wise and Milken, I was taught the importance of being a mensch and a good student, I was taught the importance of philanthropy, developed a love for Israel, I was given the tools and opportunities to become the leader I am today and to develop the skills that would help me build my career. Most importantly I was fortunate to learn about the importance of a loving and welcoming community and the importance of embracing our unique differences to create something bigger than ourselves.
My summers growing up were spent right on this very campus as a camper at the Wise Temple camps, formerly known as Camp Rainbow Mountain and Camp Nosaya. I taught swimming at the Wise pool and helped lead the children’s services at the Saturday morning minyan. In the summer of 1996, Rabbi Herscher and the clergy sponsored my trip to Israel (for which I am forever grateful). Me, my brothers, my two nephews, and niece all became b’nai mitzvah here, and my younger niece and nephew will soon be following in those footsteps.
In 2019 I introduced Rabbi Stern to my then fiancé Paige. Though Paige was not born Jewish, Rabbi Stern welcomed her much like Rabbi Zeldin did my parents 43 years ago, with open arms into this community, a community which my wife herself has lovingly embraced. We were honored to have Rabbi Stern officiate our wedding and the beautiful and moving words he spoke during our ceremony made both my Jewish and non-Jewish wedding guests express their awe of how beautiful the prayers were and how they would even consider becoming members of Wise. Last year, Paige and I brought our son Ayden into the world, he had his first birthday party right here at Katz Pavilion, and he is now enjoying those same Baby-and-Me classes I did 40 years ago.
As Yom Kippur winds down, and as we get ready to stand together to listen to the shofar one last time, I am reminded of the last 40 years and how grateful I am to be a part of this community. Of Rabbi Zeldin’s vision for our community, based on social action, education, and a love for Israel. A vision Rabbi Yoshi has embraced, strengthened and continues to advance. I fondly reminisce about countless life milestones that took place on this hill, the lifelong friends I made, the Purim Carnivals, Mitzvah Days, and watching Yitzkhak Rabin speak in the Sanctuary. I am grateful our community has been there for our biggest celebrations, and for its unwavering support during all our times of tragedy.
If I am not for myself who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? As we stand one last time during Ne’ilah, interlock our arms and welcome in a new year, I am reminded of how all our differences have brought us all together in this moment. How it has created one of the strongest communities filled with incredible people, how it has allowed each of us to write our own story and how no matter the language we speak, the country we are from or personal family traditions we may have, that we are all one vibrant, welcoming and ever growing community.
May the coming year be a year of great health and happiness and May next year be the best chapter of our story yet.