Stephen Wise Temple member Sheryl Cooper delivered her Wise Story on Sunday, Sept. 24, 2023, Erev Yom Kippur 5784, during our Kol Nidrei services in Katz Family Pavilion.
I actually love this time of year. The high holidays are when I go inward to reflect on time past and the nows. I’m going to start with some reflections. Twenty-nine years ago, I stood on this bima with my husband Glenn, committing to shared lifetime dreams and loving each other in good times and bad. We actually skipped down the aisle as a married couple. The joy was intense, and we couldn’t wait to begin our lives together. We were surrounded by our family and friends at the time in our most cherished place where we both grew up.
Twenty-six years ago, our daughter Morgan was born, and she was blessed up here in the Jewish naming tradition. two years later, her sister was born, and our new family of four held each other tight as we named our youngest Sara.
Since then, our family created roots here. Both daughters thrived in Jewish learning from pre-school to Hebrew school and leadership in the post-bat mitzvah teen program. We fully engaged ourselves in the Wise community. Our daughters read from the Torah that we helped to scribe, I grew spiritually in programs like Lunch & Learn, and my husband made deep commitments to supporting and developing this synagogue as a board member, just like his grandfather.
It’s been just over 10 years since Morgan and I were up here while Sara read from the Torah as a bat mitzvah. There were only three of us that day. Several months prior, Glenn died by killing himself.
We don’t know why. Likely, we won’t ever understand the why. That is what makes suicide complex and confusing and a whole onslaught of emotions. But what we do know and how we remember Glenn is for his loving, caring, and kind actions over his lifetime. He was the best. The guy you could rely on, the math guy, the chocolate chip pancake guy. His suicide created such a ripple throughout the community and the kids, and we never felt alone. He was so loved here. The three of us gained survival skills that we never could have imagined. We chose to be our best selves. We chose to wake up and have a brand new day, regardless of what yesterday looked and felt like. We chose life. Not for Glenn. For us.
Life cycles. This is why Wise is so important to me. Guiding me – us through our most joyous moments and our deepest painful lows.
I spent countless hours with my rabbis. They consoled us while I personally sought ways to find meaning in the times that were so dark.
The Wise people created a bridge for the kids and me to show up in a safe place. The temple is non-judgemental. Truly, this is our safe place. They helped to lift us back up unconditionally. We are eternally grateful for the tradition, spirituality, and community Wise has extended to each of us throughout our lives.
Today, it’s all about life after you. I have an amazing partner, Barry, and together with his daughters; we’ve become the Shoopers – it’s a Shaich and Cooper mash-up.
Days are still unpredictable, and I don’t know what tomorrow is all about. But I know I can count on this place for unconditional love and support.
Shanah tovah.