We are several days into Elul, the Hebrew month of preparation for the High Holy Days. During this time, it’s customary to recite special prayers focusing on spiritual renewal, to increase charitable giving, to immerse more deeply in Torah study, and importantly, to seek reconciliation with those we have wronged (or from whom we’re estranged). It’s common to sound the shofar each morning of Elul as an inducement to undertake these tasks.
To encourage and support you in your own Elul preparation, I invite you to consider the teachings of the NYU philosophy professor, Samuel Scheffler. He’s the author of the book, Death and the Afterlife.
Scheffler redefines the term “afterlife” and asks his audience to consider that the very real and compelling definition of this term is the awareness that most of those we love will continue to live after us. They are our this-worldly afterlife. He suggests that were we to learn that either the world would end when we breathe our last breath or that babies would no longer be born so that our generation would be the last, we’d be terrified and likely governments and scientists would devote massive efforts to save future generations. On the other hand, says the philosopher, we are all relatively cognizant of our own finite life span. Of course, we seek to live as long as we can, but we don’t expect an infinite lifespan and knowing that eventually we will die doesn’t terrify most of us in the way that an end of everything future might.
With this perspective, Scheffler poses a compelling question: How might we create the afterlife we desire? His answer is, live your best life so that when you are remembered by those after you—their memories will be rich and meaningful.
Cantor Emma and I just officiated at a baby naming where the little girl was named after her deceased grandfather. As the child’s mother tearfully spoke of her love for her grandfather, she committed herself to teaching her daughter about the beloved man.
When my own children incorporated the names of our deceased parents into their chosen names of our grandchildren, they spoke about the qualities of each grandparent that they hoped their children would embody. In Scheffler’s understanding, those acts of naming children and remembering the qualities of the deceased are the living afterlife.
So, as we begin the High Holy Day cycle with Elul, imagine your afterlife as Scheffler does. How can you live your life so that you are remembered with love and honor? What can you do now to ensure that your spiritual legacy is planted in the hearts of those who will remember you? What are the gifts of memory that you can fashion so that when the next generations carry your name, they will do so with pride and affection?
As surely as the shofar’s sound motivates us, the ever-present awareness that we can craft our own afterlife inspires us to live our lives with virtue, integrity, and love.
— Rabbi Ron Stern