The Hebrew month of Elul has just begun, traditionally devoted to preparing ourselves for the High Holy Days. With that in mind, this week, Rabbi Woznica offers suggestions about forgiveness.
Asking Forgiveness From The People Closest To You
It takes courage to ask others to forgive us—especially when that person lives in our home, is a family member, or is someone we see regularly. To ask our spouse, children, parents, or close friends to forgive us is humbling and tough. It is also vitally important and can be deeply meaningful.
I suggest you look at those on your list (see yesterday’s piece), set a time to approach them in a private setting, and ask their forgiveness. Rather than a generic apology such as, “I am sorry if I hurt you in any way this year,” it is traditional to articulate the specific hurtful act or acts. For example: “I apologize for the time when we were discussing baseball with others and I belittled and embarrassed you by saying, ‘You don’t know anything about sports.'” Or, “I apologize for raising my voice at you last week when you were late for meeting friends for dinner.”
In short, we must acknowledge our actions, apologize, and ask forgiveness. Doing so with a full heart is not only good for the person we hurt but also for our relationship and us.
Rabbi David Woznica
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