Judaism acknowledges virtually every aspect of the human condition. It helps us to celebrate life’s best moments and gives guidance at times of need. Often, our greatest time of need is when we experience the loss of someone we love.
Our tradition helps us to deal with such loss with grace and dignity, giving us ways to acknowledge our pain as well as a roadmap to re-enter the world. This week, Rabbi Woznica shares some of the uplifting wisdom of our tradition.
Three Jewish Funeral Practices
These ritual practices all share common threads of dignity and grace and respect and are worthy of consideration.
Shmira: With the ideal being that the body is not left unattended, a “shomer” (“watcher”) remains near our loved one. Typically, the shomer recites Psalms and stays with the deceased until the start of the funeral. If a relative is inclined to act as shomer (even for a few hours), request this from the mortuary. I can share from personal experience that if you act as a shomer for a loved one, even for a couple of hours, it can be a very meaningful experience.
Tahara (ritual washing): Covered in a white sheet, with dignity and respect, water is gently and systematically poured over our loved one—uncovering only the part of the body that is being washed at the moment for reasons of modesty. Prayers are recited. As we are washed as newborns, we return to our Maker, with a level of purity.
Tachrichim (burial shroud): A shroud made of white linen is the traditional burial clothing. It is not to be overly costly. Tachrichim reflect a level of simplicity that is the generally preferred atmosphere at a funeral.
In some synagogues there is a Chevra Kaddisha (literally “sacred society” a group of Jewish men and women who volunteer to take on the task of Shmira (the watcher) and ritual washing. Men prepare the bodies of men, women prepare those of women. Being a member of Chevra Kaddisha is a particularly beautiful mitzvah.
Rabbi David Woznica
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P.S. If the funeral practices described above are your preferences, you can indicate this at the time of purchase of your own burial plot. Similarly, if you are making funeral arrangements for a deceased loved one, be sure to let the mortuary and cemetery know your desires.