by Cantor Emma Lutz
“Owning our stories and loving ourselves through that process is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.”
– Dr. Brené Brown
I fell in love with Judaism by listening to stories. I loved the stories about my great-grandparents coming to this country as immigrants and finding their balance between assimilating into American culture and holding their Jewish heritage close. I adored the mystical stories I heard woven into the liturgical words chanted by my cantor and the wise, midrashic tales taught by my rabbi. And perhaps, most of all, I was fascinated by the stories of Genesis, those sacred struggles and embraces between family and neighbors who, like us, were just trying to figure out how to live together in harmony.
In Parshat Vayigash, Joseph’s brothers are overcome with feelings of shame and remorse. Led by Judah, the flock of brothers plead for mercy and understanding from Joseph, the brother they so deeply mistreated. They cannot undo previous wrongs, but instead, they earn Joseph’s forgiveness by recalling the whole truth of their misguided actions, by owning the entirety of their story, even the chapters of brokenness and pain. Only through this ownership are they able to move forward, forging a new relationship with Joseph and resettling in Egypt to prosper for generations.
Dr. Brené Brown (researcher and storyteller) teaches that when we own the stories of who we are and where we come from, we can fully realize who we want to be. When I read about Joseph’s brothers, I see the deep well of joy that can spring from taking responsibility for all of our actions, sharing our experiences with others, and learning from our challenges to write an even better subsequent chapter. May we remain open to learning from the stories of our ancestors, growing wiser from their own brave striving to own and pass on their most cherished stories.
